Ephemeral

It’s been a while since I’ve posted here!  Admittedly, I often forget I have this account.

In the last year — judging from that photo I posted of Logan — a lot has changed!  I’ve gotten a better grip on my anxiety and depression.  We adopted another dog named Myron.  He’s a pitbull mix (possibly with shar pei).  He’s had a tough life: he’s about five or six and was a stray.  He was put into a negligent foster home where he became infested with ticks and fleas.  He was extremely timid when we brought him home; he warmed up in about two weeks.  A week and a half ago my boyfriend’s best friend brought over Marco, the newest addition to our menagerie: an orange tabby domestic shorthair kitten.  He’s about six weeks old.  Our other friend took one of the other girls and he’s keeping the other two, whom he has named Gribbles (he loses hit footing a lot) and Boots (she’s black with white paws).  We’re training for the 2015 Honolulu Marathon which is barely a month away.

Most importantly, my time as an undergraduate is just about at its end.  I graduate in the Spring and I’ve already prepared my schedule for next semester:

History 496E – Senior Tutorial, World/Comparative

History 445 – Revolution and Napoleon

History 421 – China in World History

Religion 352 – Sufism

Hindi 202 – Intermediate Hindi

Japanese 101 – Elementary Japanese

This semester is already difficult and I’m sure next semester will be worse, considering that I’ll be learning two languages (Japanese scares me even though I’m Japanese) and writing my senior thesis on Japanese foreign diplomacy during the twentieth century.  My GPA in history grew a lot stronger than my GPA in religion so I’ve decided to pursue history.  Earlier in the semester I was inducted into Phi Alpha Theta, the National History Honor Society.  Our chapter is Alpha Beta Epsilon.  This weekend is my GRE and I’ve been hectically trying to prepare for it; I lost track of time trying to study for my other classes, do well on exams and midterms, write decent papers, etc. and before I knew it, my three months of studying for the GRE reduced to one week.  ONE WEEK!  I’m not so worried about the reading and writing portions; rather, I’m terrified of the mathematics portion considering that I haven’t taken a math course since my Algebra II class in the twelfth grade.

With my coming graduation in less than six months, I’ve been thinking about what I want to do.  I know I have security at my current employer but I don’t want to stay if I’m not guaranteed the opportunity to advance.  But even then, I’m not sure I’d be happy working there for my entire life.  If I am admitted to and complete the World History program, I would either like to try my hand at teaching or working in a museum, though the museum jobs in Hawaii are painfully scarce.  At the same time, I want to take off.  I’ve studied Indian religions and I love Indian food and Indian culture, so I’d love to spend some time in Mumbai or Kerala (completely different places, I know).  My professor does a lot of work in Delhi so I’m considering asking him for some life coaching.  My other professor has been urging me to apply for JET (a program to teach English in Japan for a year) for four semesters and I’ve been considering that as well.  Doing that would give me some teaching experience while also getting paid; it also gives me the opportunity to spend a year in the country I want to study and observe their current political behavior to see how the current state links to the previous century.  There are so many things I want to do, but none exactly wholeheartedly.  Is this what your twenties is?  Being unsure, adventurous yet scared, complacent yet trapped?

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